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a public service announcment [21 Nov 2002|07:56pm]
[ mood | fuckin tired ]

i hate contractors. expecially deaf contractors who expect me to be able to read their minds and know exactly what the fuck it is they want me to go get them. never mind the fact that they cant talk. never mind the fact that not only did have i NOT taken the time to learn sign language and never will. never mind the fact that the fact this chick is deaf makes her incredibly sexy to me. i wonder if deaf chicks make weird noises during sex? i bet they do. im starting to think im some kinda total freak. something about the blind, deaf, and handicapped turn me on. wait...no...err...yes...yes it does. jesus fuckin christ, if i could just find a blind deaf asian midget in a wheelchair that would cane me i think i might actually start to believe in love again. oh the thoughts. oh the joys. oh what the fuck am i talkin about? music. thats right. thats what im always talkin about. i downloaded some switchblade symphony last night. MUCH better than what i was expecting. i actually really enjoy it. god i hate people who instant message me about shit i dont care about. god i hate people. god i hate god. wait. i dont hate god...i forgot...i dont believe in god. well, maybe thats not true. i think i am probably agnostic with atheistical tendancies when it suits my purpose. but more than likely i probably just dont care enough one way or another to really give a fuck if i believe in the divine myth or not. speaking of the divine myth, has anyone other than me not seen the divine secrets of the ya ya sisterhood? i really hope so. goddamnit, my sister called today to ask what i wanted for xmas and when i told her i wanted marilyn manson's book she said she wouldnt get it for me cause she didnt like manson. i told her that i dont like nail polish but i that was still what i was getting her. she replied by saying that it was a different kind of dislike. i told her that she doesnt listen to manson cause she doesnt like manson and that i dont wear nail polish because i dont like nail polish, therefore it makes it no different. anyone have any thoughts on this?

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holy jeebus h christ and the holy rollers [19 Nov 2002|10:19pm]
[ mood | moody ]

hrm...wow...i havent posted anything here in a LONG time. i hadnt planned on posting anything either, but i was told that i needed to. what can i say...chicks in corsets bring out my submissive side. figures. well, instead of taking up tons of space by trying to get the incredibly massive amount of people who dont read my journal up to date, i think i'll just skip the last couple of months and start off like i never stopped.

i turned 21 last wendsday. jesus fuckin christ i partied last weekend. had a great time at blackout. saw several old friends, and (perhaps?) made a couple of new ones. (by the way...i wanna appologize profusely to whoever's shoe it was i spilt my beer on. whoops.) if you havent tried a liquid cocaine, i would recommend it. wow. fuckin thing packs a punch. kudos.

by the way, i have a new email address if anyone is ever excessively bored enough to email me. blasphemy@ithinkigaveyouaids.com knock your socks off.

the faintest blue highway
underneath a thin layer of skin

seven inches of serrated steel
sheathed in leather

steel to skin

steel through skin

take your bow

exist stage left.

1 comment|post comment

please let me be wrong. [17 Jun 2002|04:37pm]
[ mood | depressed ]

sometimes i wake up feeling like i've lost my best friend in the world.

today i think i might of actually did.

god i hope im wrong.

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tell your bitch she aint gotta be mad at me. [10 Jun 2002|08:21am]
[ mood | bouncy ]

alright. got off work at 2 this morning and im still up. gotta be at work later today. yes, this makes alot of sense.

i saw you standing there
trapped like deer in my lights
eyes open and staring
blind as the moonless night
your pale iredescants
your milky white skin
and my soul died.

approached you nervously
my heart in my throat
the right words never come to mind
a mind as blank as a pure page of nothing.

i stammered out my name
and looked away in shame.

my pulse is fluttering
barely skin deep.
anxiously i wait for you to speak
your name the slightest whisper upon your lips.

a momentary pause
the uncomfortable silence
as you reach out and take my hand
im drawn into your embrace.

caressing your face
drowning in your beauty
i panic and move away
that which is unattainable
made so only by myself.

my weeping is only for you.


alot has been on my mind lately.

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[06 Jun 2002|04:04pm]
Paranoid:Very High
Avoidant:Very High

-- Click Here To Take The Test --

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i hung myself with an extension cord and dangled high above the ouija board. [06 Jun 2002|03:05pm]
[ mood | exanimate ]

does anyone else out there hate comcast nearly as much as i do? hrrrrmmmm? no, i didnt think so because my hatred for them is absolute. last night my internet services went offline 3 or 4 times...always when i was in the middle of a conversation with somone i actually give a fuck about talking to. i dont mind it so much when i am talking with just some no face person but when it is one of my friends it just kinda pisses me off.

but i did actually go to bed at a decent hour last night. and got a much needed 13 hours of sleep. atleast i am now feeling fairly rested up. which is a good thing because i close tonight through sunday night...i love having a schedule with the 4 most hectic nights on it. btw, remind me to clean up the cynicism i just dripped everywhere. =\

so i've got this new dog. well actually its my friend misty's but im keeping it indefinately until she finds a place where she can keep her. its a peekapoo. now when kelsey first arrive here i was supprised that i liked her as much as i did. well, misty took her to get her hair cut tuesday (she was a really shaggy lookin bastard)and now she looks like a black poodle. bleh. i hate poodles. god i hope she grows her hair back quickly. but other than that she is a really good dog. she doesnt bark often and when she does its not a small dog annoying bark. she is housebroken very well. and she isnt shaky which is what i hate most about small dogs.

www.polterchrist.com ok so jillykillroy sent me this link and jesus fuck me christ it looks so funny. i cant wait to see it.

i would like to close this post with a lyric from one of my favorite bands twiztid.

"cigarettes do not cause cancer, that is merely speculations."
--Monoxide Child

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[05 Jun 2002|10:36am]
SimilarMinds.com Compatibility Test

Your match with Jen
you are 87% similar
you are 88% complementary

How Compatible are You with me? </center>
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a long yet fun night. [05 Jun 2002|10:21am]
[ mood | wired ]

i got called into work last night and had to go in at 7. i was told on the phone i would be done between 9-10, yet somehow they managed to keep me there till after 11. oh well, atleast it assures i get my 40 hours this week. guess thats important.

went over to jillykillroy's house last night. had alot of fun. saw my friend milburn who i hadnt seen in forever. he always puts me in the greatest moods. i swear he is the strangest man on earth. its awesome.

i cant wait for my casey boo to get back from texas. we have so much in common i know we are going to have mad fun together. its really weird, i mean i havent actually met casey in person yet we have talked sooo much over these past weeks that she knows me almost as well as my best friends do. i usually dont get very attached to people that i just talk to online, but casey and i have this weird energy connection thing going on. its pretty cool. speaking of talking to people online, im going to go slum around the chatroom i frequent on a daily. http://chatxtra.al.com if anyone is interested. just a bunch of local losers. heh. i am that local loser!!!

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no cigarettes = no fun. [27 May 2002|02:26am]
[ mood | dirty ]

well just another uneventful night at wendys. its been a looooong weekend. oh well, atleast its money...not much money and i seem to spend if faster than i earn it...but its money none the less.

Take this quiz or visit survey.JUNKIE for more surveys!

riiiight. me. a player. hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahaha

cough...cough...deep breath...

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this just fuckin sucks. [25 May 2002|05:34am]
[ mood | pissed off ]

well work last night just sucked. simply sucked. nothing major bad happened, i was just in a foul mood all night. i hope people begin to violently choke on jr. bacon cheeseburgers.

i got home and i got the absolute worst news from one of my friends i have ever heard. he got arrested yesterday. busted with 3.5 ounces of marijauana and paraphenalia. and to top it off the people who narc'ed him out was his own fuckin dad! jesus fuck me christ but i just think that is so wrong. plus the police got the # to his guy. i am incredibly worried for his life...if his guy gets popped because of all this bullshit then he is as good as a dead man. bleh. i fucking despise this entire situation. my number was taken as well. go figure. fuck it all. $%#^@$#!

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am i still here, or is it just me? [20 May 2002|01:15pm]
[ mood | high ]

ok well i still havent been to bed. not since saturday sometime. i think. dont really remember though so i cant say for sure.

just got back from my friend's pad. we got so fuckin stoned. we had this interesting little agenda of things we were going to accomplish, but i rolled this massive joint when i got there and then another guy came over who insisted on smoking two joints and a bowl. we just lost total motivation and decided to play ps2 all morning. worked for me.

but now i think i might attempt sleep again. adios senor pantalones y senorita bicha.

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this is what it all comes down to... [20 May 2002|05:36am]
[ mood | melancholy ]

jesus fuck me christ. this has probably been one of the longest three days of my life. i closed at wendys friday saturday and sunday. friday was ok even though i didnt get out of there till almost 3...saturday was slammed as hell and i was tired as fuck by the time i got off. sunday just blowed mad goats cause i didnt get any during the day and i had to fuckin clean like a mother fucker for an inspection today. thank god i got the fuckin day off.

other than that i guess everything is ok overall. im broke again...that first pay check for only 1 week of work did NOT last long...so im out of money for another week and a day. but that shouldnt be so bad...i've been broke since december really.

i get so depressed sometimes even when i know i shouldnt. i think its because i dont take my medicine anymore but i would rather be myself than have to force myself to swallow a small handfull of pills every day and be a stupid happy zombie. people tell me i am too pessimistic, but i think i am just a realist. i try to look at things as they really are instead of how i want or hope for them to be. not my fault everything sucks =\

so i was thinkin bout god while i was on my break yesterday. i dont think about god much seeing as how i dont exactly believe in god. but then again, i dont exactly disbelieve in god either. guess im just an agnostic with atheistical tendancies. but i dont see what the big fuss about god is...really. im living my life now just as i would if god exists. if god exists then i dont think attending some congregation of people is going to do me much good. my life is going to be no better or no worse if god does(nt) exist. its all the same to me. i just thought it was odd i was pondering over that today.

im off today and thursday so if anyone wants to make some cheap plans or have any suggestions as to what i might do to occupy my time, feel free to bug me about it. im sure i will just sit here otherwise and listen to music like i always do. i really need a social life. lately the extent of that has been just hanging over at jillykillroy's house and im sure she is probably getting tired of me =). so somone help this cracka nigga out with something interesting to do. other than cutting myself to watch myself bleed.

7 comments|post comment

another day another dollar in the great fast food utopia in the west [18 May 2002|03:35am]
[ mood | high ]

behold the many joys of fast food. scrubbing grease pits. tolerating 16 year olds. challenges mental prowess when deciding to use the green scrubbing pad or the blue scrubbing pad.

i love it.

seriously this job rocks! sure it doesnt pay for shit and there is no way i would dream of making wendys a permanent profession, but for right now i love it. its easy work. honest to fuckin god easy work. and they want to pay me to put meat on a hot stone. awesome!

i am, however, going to be forced to kill this kid named kevin. he must die. he will die. he shall die. eradicate. exterminate. cremate.

finally got hooked up with some hours for next week. these 3 day weeks suck, i dont get paid enough for only 3 days to suffice. but i got my 5 days next week, unfortunately two of them are during the day. which isnt too bad i guess since wendys doesnt even open until 10:30 so its not like i gotta go in REALLY early...but early enough.

::static::static::END TRANSMISSION::static::static::

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sos...just another day. [16 May 2002|08:58am]
[ mood | lethargic ]

well so far today is starting out exactly like yesterday...except im not nearly as cognitive.

it remains to be seen if this shall be a good thing.

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what a terrible web we weave...speakin of weaves... [15 May 2002|07:34pm]
[ mood | mellow ]

today has just been kinda blah. not blah in a bad way, but definately not blah in a good way either. i woke up with a hangover...thats just not my favorite way to start the day off. but i got high and went back to bed after a couple of bowls of cocoa pebbles. chocolately goodness i tell ya!

about 1 today my friend tee wakes me up bangin on my window. loudly. if i didnt love her so much i woulda been pissed but as it was we just got more pot and got high some more.

had to go to best buy today to get some cds so i could burn some firesign theater for jillykillroy. so i got high on my way to best buy.

mom came home about 20 minutes early today. but then she left almost 15 minutes after she got here to go play bingo. she is such a square soemtimes...most of the time. so i got high after she left.

come to think of it smokin is about all i've done today. but for now i think im going to go over to jillykillroy's and take her these cds and play some more magic: the gathering.

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[15 May 2002|09:47am]
its 9:48 right now. i've been up since 7. im off today. does this seem odd to anyone else? =\
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i dunno [15 May 2002|03:13am]
[ mood | high ]

well just thought i would stop in at lj again. just got back from my friends house. i felt bad cause i told em i would bring em some cds but then right as i was leaving for best buy to get some more blanks i got called into work. oh the joys of fast food. but i finally made it over there and played magic the gathering for a while. i just really cant get enough of that game. its nice to have some people to play with again.

i have gas. *shrugs*


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i thought this was a most appropriate stereotype of not only the way i role play but also of me. [13 May 2002|04:43am]

Find your Role-Playing
at mutedfaith.com.
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wow its been a while [13 May 2002|04:00am]
[ mood | drained ]

its been forever since i've updated my lj. guess im just kinda spastic like that. alot has happened since the last time i graced you with a brief look into my life. i finally found that elusive job that i have been hunting not so dillegently (fuck my bad spelling) since december. and i think you should all come to wendys in madison on 72 and walk in and yell ANTIFUCKER!!! it wont serve any real purpose, and i cant even hook you up with free food, but it would amuse me. getting a job is probably the most dramatic thing that has happened to me lately. not that i got that off my chest, its time to become spastic again with what i type. enjoy.

so i've come to the realization that i truly dislike my last ex. you might think that isnt too suprising but we maintaned a friendship for quite some time after we split, but now i realize just how filled with drama she really is. why do people have to live for drama? i try to keep my life fairly drama free and i realize that i have way more drama in it than i care to...but i dont talk live for it nor do i get off on it by telling people about it constantly. maybe some day she might grow up (ha! listen to me...20, almost 21 and talking about someone needing to grow up...) and we can become friends again, but i doubt it.

is it weird that when i decide not to associate myself with somone that i just completely ignore them and never speak to them again? like not even to let them know that i dont want to be around them anymore. its like i just make myself disappear. its just easier for me that way...sometimes i feel bad about it, but i just try to save myself the headache of confrontation.

so i've been talkin with this awesome chick from meridianville lately. she is a few years older than me but we are seriously diggin each other...which is odd cause usually chicks who possess all of the following qualities: beautiful, intelligent, freaky, kinky, excellent taste in music and drugs, read the same literature as me, wants to learn to play Magic: the Gathering, isnt a drama queen, is an active member of the counterculture, isnt a drama queen and or utter bitch...etc etc...usually just dont go for me. maybe im just really lucking out this time..whatever it is im glad it happens and i actually hope it progresses. which is odd, cause i had just sworn of relationships forever (for like the 3rd time this year).

i just finished a series of books called otherland. my wonderful and truly excellent friend jillykillroy let me borrow them. its a series of four books but its like its one continuous book. each book is around 900+ pages and im not sure how long it took me to read all four (my time references suck) but it seems like it was slightly under 2 months. it was just awesome. the author is tad williams and i would recommend it to anyone who digs fantasy and/or scifi. im not the biggest scifi fan in the world and usually try to stay away from the hardcore stuff but tad does such a good job of blending the two genres that i just couldnt put em down.

i had to take my lip ring out for work. thats been bugging me slightly but not too much, so this is all i shall really say about it. thank god i got to keep my industrial.

i been hangin out alot with my friend tee lately. she is an awesome chick...i've known her for almost the three years i've lived in huntsville. we both work at wendys. she is such an utter trip to be around. we are always fuckin around at work and clownin on each other. i think we kinda worry our coworkers cause we are always bitchin and yellin at each other but its just in the name of fun. we are just cool like that, but i think some people at work just dont understand that. we always gettin weird looks and shit like "oh my god are they really fighting?!?!?" haha. i can tell she is rubbin off on me due to the massive increase in rap music i have been listening to and the amount of ghettoness in me has drastically risen.

im getting a new tattoo soon. hopefully within the next month. i still have to draw it. i dont believe in putting permanent ink on my body unless i drew it. why would somone want a prefab tattoo that 1,000 other people probably have cause they saw it on some flash art in a parlor? just doesnt make sense to me. all the tattoo is going to be is "FTW" which stands for Fuck The World for those of you who dont know. but im gonna trick it out and make it look nice and interesting. i just cant decide where i want it though. im thinking maybe like a half wrap around the back of my neck or perhaps on my left upper arm. any suggestions would be appreciated. i also cant decide if i want the FTW tattoo or the Iron Cross tattoo first.

well i think i have caught myself up to date a little more on lj. btw, if anyone ever wants to aim me my s/n is VladTheJuggalo.

smile if you love cotton!

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[19 Mar 2002|09:05am]

Do you have Superpowers??

I took the Paragon Powers Test and tested positive for

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